Ranma Goes Insane
by Erentei Lord of Insanity
Summary: Ranma has finally lost it! Insane beyond all reason!As if we ever use that.Chapter two now up! Now with more talking guinea pigs, Teen Titan villains, MMOGs, and The Extra!
1. It starts You thinkHey! I need

Ranma Goes Insane!

Ranma had recently arrived back at the Tendo dojo after a long day of hearing "Ranma you jackass" and "Ranma Hentai No Baka!" while being narrowly missed by implements of extreme pain.

"I hope I just get to bed without hearing just one more comment. Why can't they learn I love Shampoo?

His wish was not to be granted.

"Ranma you owe me money!"

"Marry Akane and ensure the joining of our schools!"

"You dishonor me, boy."

"Ranma, won't you sit down to dinner?"

Ranma let out a squeal like a stuck pig and fell over unconscious.

Poor Ranma! But more than that, poor Nerima!

Ranma awoke the next morning and started making odd noises. This is what he said:

YEEBLEDY FRONK FRONK GROOGLE SQUINKING!

Needless to say, the entire Tendo household rushed in and stood at the doorway looking at Ranma frothing at the mouth singing Weird Al Yankovitch at the top of his lungs, off key and almost at the frequency only dogs can hear.

"I LOVE ROCKY ROAD, FORGET THE TASTE SPOON GIMME A GALLON BABY I LOVE ROCKY ROAD SO HAVE ANOTHER TRIPLE SCOOP WITH ME!"

is what the Tendos, one very distressed panda, and a small black piglet heard.

"Um, Ranma? Are you okay?

"NEVER BEEN STUPIDER, EDDY!"

The piglet suddenly seemed to have an idea, and rushed to the furo, returning a few seconds later as Ryoga.

"Akane, since Ranma's gone bonkers, will you marry me?"

"RYOGA OLD BUDDY! HAVE A POTATO!"

said Ranma as he lifted a lethal–looking piece of PVC piping with one end capped and a fuse burning onto his shoulder.

The resulting blast propelled Ryoga through several buildings and a flaming hoop set up by a group of sentient guinea pigs trying to take over the world.

Guinea pig 1: What was that?

Guinea pig with abnormally large brain: Oh that was just Ryoga being propelled by a potato shot from a potato gun wielded by an insane Ranma due to his case of MFS.

Guinea pig 1: MFS?

Guinea pig with abnormally large brain: Multiple Fiancée Disorder. Thankfully, we guinea pigs, being multigamous(I.E. having multiple wives), do not suffer from the terrible disorder.

Guinea pig 1: Um, disorder doesn't start with S.

Guinea pig with abnormally large brain: Oh, right. (nods for a few seconds before doing a double-take) RANMA'S GONE INSANE? RUN FOR THE HILLS!

Guinea pig 1, guinea pig 2, Guinea pig with abnormally large brain, Guinea pig not-appearing-in-this-fanfic, and Guinea pig with abnormally large brain's brightly colored minion Flo all run for the hills(I.E. Mount Fuji).

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

Several cowboys are standing around and all get hit with anvils.

Back at the Tendo household…

Ranma is laffing insanely and waving a poodle that is yelling "Oh dear oh dear oh dear woof woof woof bark bark yippity arf!"

Soun Tendo: Oh dear Ranma can't marry if he's insane!

Genma (Not a panda because of a swarm of Pikachu spraying him with a hot water hose): I can fix that. RANMA SNAP OUT OF IT!

Ranma: POPS OLD BUDDY! HAVE A POODLE!

Ranma chucks the poodle at Genma, where it proceeds to hump his leg.

Genma: HELP THERE'S A POODLE HUMPING MY LEG!

Poodle: Awooo! (NO, I'M NOT TRANSLATING THAT.)

We're sorry, this has exceeded its insanity index. We now cut in with something totally beside the point.

Buh-barbarian, buhbuh-barbarian

Dave the barbarian, strong but a wimp

His sisters Fang and Candy are a princess and a chimp "NOT A MONKEY!"

(Feminine)

Their mom and dad are the queen and king of the land of Ud-ro-goth! (Dada da da da)

They left to battle evil and now Can-dy is the … BOOOSSSS!

Buh-barbarian, buhbuh-barbarian

Dave, Fang and Can-dy

Bold and brave they're not

They ain't our greatest heroes, but they're the only ones we've got-barbarian

Buhbuh-barbarian buh-barbarian buhbuh-barbarian buh-barbarian

Dave: Bejabers!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled weirdness. Thank you for swearing at the computer and its advanced state of retardedness.

Ranma: FANGED LINOLEUM!

Poodle: And a happy new year!

Ranma: THE COUCH IS TRYING TO KILL ME!

The couch, of course, said nothing.

Meanwhile, at the base of mount Fuji…

Guinea pig 1: I think we can use Ranma's insanity to our advantage.

Other guinea pigs: Hmmm….

What do the Guinea Pig Group (GPG: Fear us and our Really High Pitched Squeals) Have as their nefarious (yet oh-so-cute) Plan! How will the Fiancees deal with it! Will they get Ranma's potato gun away from him! Will Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends make a cameo! Your Reviews decide!

Tune in next time, same insane site, same insane writer!


	2. Ooh, insanity!

Ranma Goes Insane Chappie 2: Ranma versus the big evil…thing.

explosion Thing happening

"YAHAHAHA!" Speech/insane laughter

BRING IN THE EXTRA… Author's voice…OF GOD!

I do not own anything my poor twisted soul may reference. All I own is the clothes on my back and this piece of shit computer…waaaaaaaaaaah!

I also do not own any of the Furcadia characters I may reference during this fic. Erentei Karasthein is my avatar in the game. Please disregard the flippant nature of the references to Furcadia, it really is fun and my character is like this only half the time.

Welcome readers to another brain-busting, spleen fragging episode of Ranma goes insane. It started with a princess named Zelda…Oops, wrong license gets beaten up by 500 Picori, Link, Ezlo, and the King of Hyrule Ahem, It begins in a temple…

Ranma stood in front of the altar, eyeing the idol. It was, oddly enough, a solid gold version of his female side in all her feminine glory- wearing nothing but her birthday suit.

"I'd better get this to a safe hiding place before Akane sees it and bashes me."

Saying this, he grabbed the idol…and nothing happened.

"All right! Indiana Jones can kiss my chu chu!"

Unfortunately, behind him was a giant stone Kamehameha statue. And, you guessed it- it exploded.

(Haha, you DIDN'T guess it!)gets punched by reader

Ranma slowly awakened to the sight of a guinea pig in a tuxedo standing on his chest.

"Welcome Mr. Bond. We've been waiting for you."

"But my name is Ranma Insane Saotome!"

"Whatever you say Bondtome. Let me get to the point. pulls out gameboy and starts playing

Ranma: "…"

Lord Bwee: All right! Die Riku, die!

Ranma: I do believe you were getting to the point…

Lord Bwee: Oh, right. pulls out RYNO Die script format!

Script format explodes in puff of logic spraying Ranma and Lord Bwee with confetti

Lord Bwee shakes himself.

"No matter how many times I kill that thing it always comes back and then I have to blast it away and I never get used to it. Gah!"

"…"

"I want you to help me take over the world. You see, we have the world's most powerful Potato Gun and we want you to use it. Our cute, furry bodies can't support it T-T.

"POTATO GUN! YUM YUM YUM! DO I GET CHUNKY PUFFS?

"Uh, sure."

"CHUNKY PUFFS! YUM YUM YUM!"

Teh Lord Bwee sighs.

"I just had to mention chunky puffs." Lord Bwee said resignedly. "All right, let's go."

"TABLE FOR TWO!"

Meanwhile, in the depths of space, Ryoko sneezes.

"Somewhere, a great destructive force and a sentient guinea pig are discussing a potato gun and chunky puffs! I gotta tell Washu!"

Back in…wherever they are…

Mumbo: You mean you don't know where your own characters are?

HEY! WHO'S THE AUTHOR HERE?

Mumbo points to JK Rowling.

"Uh, she is?"

YOU'RE FIRED! stuffs mumbo into cannon and launches into orbit

Back at the Pigloo of Solitude…

"All right, here we are. This is the main Bay Bay."

"Why silly guinea pig person name place Bay Bay?"

"It was the author's idea…mutters idiot…"

I HEARD THAT! I SHALL SMITE THEE!

Lord Bwee is smited (smitten? I don't know…)

ALL RIGHT, BRING IN THE EXTRA…I don't get paid enough for this…

Mr. Whiskers: You get paid? I thought you were doing this for fun?

OH, SHUT UP, YOU. smites Mr. Whiskers GAH! HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN A LATER SCENE! BRING IN THE WHISKERBOT…

Ranma: "…"

Whiskerbot: Damn script format! destroys script format with chest-mounted rocket launchers

The extra walks in.

"I could have been a good little furre and stayed in Furcadia, but no..o..o. I had to go see the Internet for myself. And now I'm stuck with an insane author and his insaner creations."

SILENCE FOOLISH FURRTAL!

The extra sighed.

Ranma suddenly jumped up and fell on his face. Jumping back up, he said:

"I know! Let's all go to Furcadia and be animals! I wanna be a horse!"

Extra: Not a bad idea.

Lord Bwee: kaff kaff wheeze (weakly) "Why not?"

Whiskerbot: I have affirmation.

Mumbo (back from orbit and looking very charred): I've always wanted to see what it would be like to be an animal like that one time I turned the Teen Titans into a bear, a cat, a rabbit, a monkey, and a lamp! Though I doubt I could be a lamp…

KABOOM!

Ryoko crash-lands and says, "Damn script format! DIE!"

Script format flies off with a noise like a balloon flying away

Meanwhile in Furcadia…

Don Bakura: And that is why George W. Bush believes that all the Middle Eastern countries need to be annihilated.

Erentei Karasthein slaps Don Bakura with a fish in agreement.

Don Bakura is slapped o-o

Erentei Karasthein runs out the door yelling something about Ranma and potato guns!

Cuscus: O-O

Killing Joke: oo;

B.L.: Ooookay.

Litto: Is it just me or is he acting weirder than usual?

Meanwhile, on the surface of Magrathea, a sperm whale lands with a wet THUD.

**Blamf!**

The author looks at his smoking computer and sighs.

"Zeus dammit! That's the third time this week! Bring in the stunt computer…"

stunt computer is brought in

"DIE YOU USELESS PIECE OF PLASTIC AND SILICON!"

computer is beaten to gritty pulp

"All right, now let's get back to the fic…"

ZAP

Welcome To Furcadia! Please speak to Beekin the Help Dragon.

Beekin: You're hyoomans, aren't you?

Everyone looks down

InsaneRanma: "Gah we're not animals!"

Beekin says (mildly irritated I find it hard to believe he could ever be really angry): "The term is FURRES. And besides, you have to customize your avatar first."

LordBwee and Exxxtra: "but we're already animals…"

Exxxtra: I'm the only real furre here. The rest of you will have to create your own personas.

Beekin: THE WORD IS AVATARS!

InsaneRanma is an equine male with black fur, mane, and markings.

LordBwee is a male rodent with black fur, white markings, and green hair.

Exxxtra is an unspecified rodent with brown fur, white markings, and black hair.

Whiskerbot is an unspecified lapine with gray fur, hair, and markings.

Ryoko is a feline female with tan fur and blue hair, wearing a kimono.

Mumbo is a rodent, teal blue with white markings.

YOU"LL BE MEETING MY AVATAR SOON.

Exxxtra: "it's not enough that we have to deal with him, we have to deal with a second him. I should never have left in the first place…"

InsaneRanma: "Don't start that again you don't want to be smited do you?"

HE HAS A POINT YOU KNOW. AND HERE, TO SHOW I'M NOT ANGRY, IS A PINT FOR EACH OF YOU.

Everyone says: "Thanks!"

AND TO SHOW MY DISPLEASURE, HERE'S A SMITING.

smites

Everyone says: ow…

Erentei Karasthein appears.

Erentei Karasthein says: "Hello!"

What's going to happen next? Have I lost it? Well, yes, I have. But the rest you can find out next time on RANMA GOES INSANE! REVIEW OR I SHALL SMITE THEE! Oh, by the way, I do believe that's a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal about to land on your head. does wide, looney-tunes-ish sidestep

Thanx to all of u who reviewed.

Xero Reflux

Yes, it IS different! You win a Pie!

rabid groundhog jumps out of pie, sees own shadow, and attacks Xero Reflux

Baron Hasenpfeffer

Thanks for the review! Now go back to writing Really Random Rhapsodies. NOW!

OokamiShiroi

You are of the rightness not to feel safe…FOR ME IS INSANE!

Night Hunter MGS

I make people's heads hurt a lot…and other parts of the body…OK! MOVING ON! Oh yeah…next update on Crossover Celebrity Jeopardy, please?

spxmb

IMSOGLADYOULIKEITTHANKYOUFORREVIEWINGYAYYAYYAYYAY

If I forgot to mention you, it's mostly because my Juno is a piece of rancid monkey shit and I haven't been able to get onto If you are reading this it means I have uploaded it from a school computer.


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